15.9.16

My Blogging Story & Hiatus

Back in 2011, whilst aimlessly watching various YouTube videos, I stumbled across the likes of SWalkerMakeup, Sprinkle of Glitter and Zoella. I became hooked and spent hours upon hours binge watching every single video they had ever made and being only 16 at the time, they became sort of online big sisters who taught me all of the mega important life skills, like how to create the perfect winged liner, that it's not cool to over pluck those brows and how to fake tan between the toes.

My love for all things beauty grew at a rapid speed and I wanted to make YouTube videos, just like the girls I looked up to so much, but having pretty bad anxiety didn't make this an option, so I started a blog instead. I remember having the basic theme and I took all of my photos on my phone, but none of that mattered because I found so much enjoyment from writing blog posts. Even though I didn't have hundreds of followers, it was a great and supportive community to be apart of. However, I feel like there's been a huge change over the past five years. The YouTubers and Bloggers that I found so relatable, just aren't anymore. Long gone are the days where said YouTubers are making videos because it's what they enjoy, but because they know it's what sells and fits in with their pink and fluffy brand. Fully grown woman are acting as young as their online teenage audience to be deemed "relatable". 25 year old woman are making back to school videos and are embarrassed to address the topic of sex and insinuating it's a bad thing, which is very problematic in my opinion. Every grown woman I know enjoys sex, it's natural. And if I'm honest, I fell into this false online persona trap too.

I blogged between the ages of 16 - 20 and in that time, I've been through a lot of life changes that have drastically made me change as a person. Especially the death of my Grandfather and coming out of an unhappy four year relationship, but I honestly felt like I couldn't go off "brand" on my blog and talk about the things I wanted to. I had to fake this cutesy, online persona whom would never form an opinion about anything remotely important to avoid being seen as "negative" or I'd never have the chance to be the least bit successful. Because of this, blogging became to feel like such a chore and that supportive community I mentioned? Completely faded away. I frequently used to take part in the Blogger Twitter chats, which was the perfect way to make fellow blogger friends and find inspiration, but there became a complete switch and bloggers would tell you how to do everything. What you can and cannot write about, how you should write, when you should write, which camera you need and every single chat would end in an argument. If I hear the term "blogger drama" one more time, I'll vom. It became very exhausting to say the least.

Life became more busy and I had a lot less free time once I met Conor and was in a long distance relationship, so I thought I'd have some sort of break until I had the motivation to blog again; but it never came, which led me to stop blogging for nearly a year. I also fell completely out of love with reading blogs and watching YouTube videos, there's only so many times you can watch Zoella carbon copies hauling 10 berry lipstick shades that "you literally cannot live without this Autumn". I've recently began reading more blogs and watching YouTube videos again, but by very different creators who have interesting and engaging things to say, which has made me very much miss having a blog as an outlet and I feel like I have that inspiration back to begin blogging again, but this time with content that I want to write and that is true to me, not forcing posts because they need to fit in with some sort of theme.

I also just want to say how much I loved Sprinkle of Glitter / Louise Pentland's recent video on why she's "quitting" YouTube. The decision is very brave and in my opinion definitely for the best, it feels like the old Louise is making a return and that makes me so happy! This video also gave me that final little push to realise that all these feelings that I had regarding Blogging and YouTube are justified and it's never too late to start again.




“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.”
- 
F. Scott Fitzgerald

P:S: Please don't think I'm trying to tell you how to live your life / how to blog. You do you boo!

Love, S x

4 comments:

  1. Oh my god! I couldn't have said this better myself! I'm sorry to hear you've been through a tough time, I lost my grandad too this year. I loved Louise's video too, I think everyone deserves to be themselves and you have to do what you feel is right for you! I'm so glad you're back - I've missed your blogs!! Look forward to reading more :)

    Tania | teabee x

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  2. Welcome back, I loved this post Sophie, I couldn't have said it better myself. I stated blogging way back in 2010 and it's like a completely different world now! What started out as a bunch of people sharing tips, tricks and embracing their beauty passion, has now turned into a competitive, dog eat dog world where the number of followers you have is more important than a well written blog post. As for the "Big" Youtubers, I sometimes feel sorry for them, it must be hard to have to pretend to be something your not just to satisfy a bunch of 12 year olds!
    xxx Claire
    http://www.claireellis.co.uk/

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    Replies
    1. Agreed, so proud of Louise for doing what will make her happy! xx

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