20.7.14

Life.


Hello lovelies! Today's post is a personal one, which is a slight change from the usual beauty posts! Before I start, I just want you all to know how personal this post is to write. I've wanted to write this post for ages, but I've also been pretty apprehensive as I didn't want to come across like I'm just looking for attention. Invisible illnesses are an awful thing to live with and I feel like they should be spoken about a lot more.

In 2009, after months and months of feeling pretty ill and many trips to my local GP. I was referred to a Paediatric at the hospital and I was FINALLY diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, or some of you may know it as M.E! There are lots of different symptoms for this, so I'll only mention the ones I've experienced. 

(Just thought I should add a quick disclaimer, that everything written is based on what I've experienced. Someone else with CFS could be different)





Muscle and Joint Pain - 
This is something not a lot of people understand when you try and explain it to them. You know that muscle pain you get after an epic workout? That's how I feel after walking around town for a few hours, or going on a day trip, and sometimes I will have the worst pains even when I haven't even done anything strenuous. For this all I can really do is take painkillers and rest as much as I can.

Sleeping Problems -  
When you have CFS, you constantly feel tired, but when it comes to bed time I will lie awake for hours and hours worrying about EVERYTHING. It got to the point where I wouldn't fall asleep until 6am - 7am and my sleeping pattern was ruined. For the last few years I've been on a sleeping tablet called Melatonin, which does help, but there are still times where I can't sleep. When you wake up, you still feel just as tired because you don't get any refreshed sleep. 

Stomach Pains -
This was one of the symptoms I experienced and the reason I started going to the doctors. It's similar to the feeling of IBS. I also feel sick a lot of the time, I have good times and bad times, when it's a rough patch I will feel sick all time and can barely eat.

Anxiety and Depression - 
CFS can be caused by a few different factors depending on each person. In my case it was caused by stress and anxiety. Anxiety is something I've had for years, but it's been getting pretty severe during the past year. I did go to counselling for a short period of time, but at the time I didn't find it very helpful, so I stopped going, but I think it's probably time I went back. I don't think I need to go too much into the Anxiety factor of it too much as there is SO much talk of Anxiety in the blogging world!

Poor Immune System - 
This is the part I hate the most. If anyone around me is ill, I will catch it. Usually Charlie comes home with a small cold and then I'll catch it and I'll be ill for a week and a half feeling like I have the flu. Fun times.

Over Sensitivity - 
Lights, smells, pain, noise, heat, pressure on the skin. With CFS these are all heightened a huge amount compared to the average person. 

Concentration -
I didn't use to experience this that much, but have a lot in the last couple of years. I find it really difficult organising my words and thoughts. My mind can feel so cloudy, which sometimes can make it very hard to write blog posts, I can spend hours trying to write the smallest amount of text.

Body Temperature -
After doing normal everyday things such as cleaning my room and I sit down, my body temperature will rapidly drop and I will go freezing and will have to sit with a hot water bottle for the next few hours to warm me up.


It's something that has affected all aspects of life: school, social, work ect I often hate to admit I have this, because I feel like as soon as someone knows they treat you differently. If you got this far, thank you for reading! I wanted to write this so other people who are suffering don't feel as alone. I also wanted to write it so the people who read my blog are aware of it. I've been invited to some events/meetups recently and had to turn them down because I'm just not myself at the moment. Blogging has helped me SO much though and it's crazy to think I've only been blogging properly since January I don't how what I did before! I feel SO scared to post this, I'm not really sure why haha, but here we go, please be nice! x

P.S: I don't want any of you to feel like I'm looking for sympathy, I've lived with this a very long time, I've accepted it. I just wanted others to be aware :)





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